coffee

i miss you the most.

at my job i do 2 things:
1) take people's pizza orders over the phone (which involves talking to them, looking up addresses, editing orders and placing orders)
2) approve donations of pizza or gift certificates

i talk to a lot of entitled people. mostly college students, business men, drug reps and wealthy stay at home moms. all of them are assholes, all of them are either too loud or too quiet. half of them don't have phone skills. i hate them.
i hate them more when i have a caffeine head ache and all i want is coffee and i can barely keep my eyes open. and more because they're eating pizza and if i ate pizza right now my body would flip the fuck out.

i know that decaf still has some caffeine and caffeine kick starts yeast growth, but i wish i had at least made decaf this morning.

anyway, i love coffee. i love it very much. it acts as a minor anti-depressant. or a major one. the last few times i tried i not drinking it i spent the day crying. the whole day. but it's been about a week of not drinking it and i am crying more than normal, but only all day once. i don't know what to do, though. i went on a walk this morning, i stretched, i ate kale breakfast tacos, i'm still not awake.
and every time the phone rings i think about punching someone in the face.